The stars…. Look at them…
What do you see?
Look at them….. (silent tears fall from her eyes)
that’s how much I love you.
Wake up! Alan wake up.. ALAN!!
My eyes fly open, I’m in my room. That strange feeling of dread, and despair still surround me, I feel dead. Maybe I’m dead. I wish I was, the pain is unbearable. It pains from inside, from all the things inside of you that you don’t even know existed. My soul is crushed.
I would feel better if I knew the cause of this pain, I would feel better if there was a cause …
But there’s nothing. Only me. Only silence. Only darkness.
It’s the same story every night. Probably why I’ve come to fear sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night, hoping that this time there’d be a cause. But there never is.
Can you imagine, not sleeping for an year? How about 2?
I’ve not slept for 2 years..
It’s not insomnia. It’s not curable. I don’t know what it is.
All I know, is that every night I see this girl blowing up in front of me. I know I loved her,i know something terrible happened to her but I don’t know who she is.
I can’t even remember how she looks like. I forget it each time. That’s whats killing me. Imagine seeing someone every day, but not knowing how they look like. It’s maddening. It’s unbearable.
I’ve started maintaining notes in the hopes of recording my dream when I wake up, but it’s of no use. The moment I wake, I forget all about it. The only thing that my mind has been generous enough to let me keep, is her name.
Her name is Amber.
Amber … I keep repeating it to myself, hoping that I’ll remember something more. I want to remember her. something inside tells me she was beautiful…
My parents say she doesn’t exist. They say, they knew about all my friends and that I never mentioned her before that day…the day on which I fell.
I fell from the sky… All the way from the outer edges of the stratosphere to the earth. I’m not kidding. They say it was a tornado,one of the strongest ones they’ve ever seen. The problem is that tornados don’t go that high. They don’t even go 2% that high.
It’s something much more than that. That’s what I want to know.
What happened to me on 5 th January 2016? The day I broke half of my bones, but still survived miraculously…
I shouldn’t be alive…no body can survive falling from that height. It’s impossible.
Yet….here I am.
There are some forces at work.
I feel like I should know something. Something that I have forgotten…
Something that could change the world as we know it.
The answer lies up there…….
(this is the starting of a book I started writing an year ago. I wrote about 2 chapters, but then deleted it, cause I’m stupid. Tell me what you think )